Tag Archive: Thoughts


A blade… a pen… A blade…

The walls… The walls and I’m looking at the tiles. The rivulets of collected steam as runs in races chasing and colliding with eachother down invisible tracks. The steam rising across the room water vapour so thick I could cut it with this blade. This blade… calling me my only friend. Just one cut, just let it touch, pierce, prick, open… open me and let the words bleed black, an outpouring of grief of frustration of need, let it out and get free. The mirror is misted over, draw a smile when you frown, a mask for the world to see. Here in this room I’m just breaking, emotions shattered glass rip through me. That blade calling my name. Its sweet melody so intoxicating, so free. Drip drop drip the sink tap not turned off correctly. A gush like steady comforting rain from the shower,turning this room into a mysterious foggy jungle. Let me be the explorer on my way to higher depths come closer sweet blade my treasure awaits, the pleasure awaits, with bated breaths I long for your touch sweet blade. Rip these seams apart, out pour words of black, leave me with colour, never look back. Run away run away, no more screams in the night. No more exhaustion as I watch those first lights. Blade touches skin, breaking the seams, rip me apart cascading ebony tides,and I’m the warrior of my ship at the helm my own realm… cascading faster a flurry of black drip drop drip I hear the water drip. Must correctly turn the tap off but the shower sings to me of mists and times forgotten calling me of a sweet caress. I drop the blade in wonder at the showers calling, but its to late and I’m just stalling. Pick my blade back up, you sweet unassuming wand. The river runs black, down my skin out my hand. Oh sweet blade take these rivers of black, take my outpouring and never look back… I watch the gatherings of mist form collectively on the tiles and as they over fill and tip downwards racing eachother, weaving and colliding to their destination at the bottom, a collection of fallen vapour droplets, do they dance like the ones singing sweet lullabies in the air? A deep breath in and do my lungs fill with their songs? Come on sweet blade… flick that shower off, we’ve a world to step back into…

The mind of a writer is a strange and wondrous thing, how our every day can turn into visions and metaphors of lost worlds and fantastical realms beyond comprehension. How those that live in reality only would think us a mindfuck of lsd enhanced nightmares and wonder at our mental states as we step through life in a glorious technicolor of dreamscapes finding wonder and enchantment in the normal every day and mundane… just my personal thoughts anyway…

A writing exercise…

I dont know if anyone does this but I often do… set your play list to random or just listen to the radio and pick up a pen, listen to the song and let both the song and your emotions dictate the words. Always ends up a small poem because you have to finish when the song finishes.

Anyway…

Song: Need You Now By Lady Antebellum.

The song plays

and I’m breaking,

The song plays

and I’m shaking,

This depth of sorrow

consuming me,

Need you so bad

try to break free,

I need you

right here right now,

Don’t care ’bout nothing else

and I don’t care how,

I miss you I miss you

I’m caving,

Can’t stay strong giving in

I’m craving,

This damn song plays

and I’m breaking,

Thoughts consumed by you

and I’m shaking…

.x.

Little thoughts…

So I had a little thought and turned it into words…

Write it out…

Let it flow…

That’s right isn’t it? Let it flow… let it pour… let it go…

There are so many words trapped inside. So many emotions. So many feelings. Can I start at the beginning? I don’t even know where that is…

I’m numb. But no. I’m not. The atmosphere is emotionally charged. I feel it in my skin. The rumbles of a storm in every breath I take. …calm down, count to ten, keep breathing… I don’t want to calm. I don’t want calm. I want storms and ripped and wretched and bare…

And I smile… but the smile never hits my eyes. It doesn’t light me. It’s false. As false as the mask I wear. I’m another bad actor in some awful forgotten play.

…let the words out…

Find a song to open this damn and let the emotions into the words.

Song choice. Florence and the Machine. What the water gave me.

~…Strength…~

Old tree

blackened by time,

Shaped by the wind

as it passes down the line,

Gnarled branches

barren and bare,

Living and breathing

but barely there,

The rain it falls

darkest storm,

Rip the sky in two

tree stands forlorn,

Lightening hits the ground

scorched earth wet,

Tree stands alone

nothing happens and yet,

It’s just a tree

no beauty or grace,

So very alone

in this desolate place,

Wind howls louder

higher higher,

Lightening tears across the sky

brilliance of white fire,

Old tree braces

against the wind stands so still,

Steadfast and alone

strength and iron will…

The words they don’t make sense. There’s no power. No anguish. No desolation, turmoil, wretchedness. No depth. It’s all wrong and not enough. I’ve built these walls so high the emotion, the depth is struggling to get out. It’s drowning in an endless ocean of words. I can’t find the lever to release it all in this symphony of sounds. It’s to dark. So dark. I can’t swim.

…calm down, count to ten, keep breathing… I don’t want to calm. I don’t want calm. I want storms and ripped and wretched and bare…

I want feeling.

Depth…

Littles story….

“Tell me a story.” He said.

So she said his name.

He took a sideways glance, “Short story…” He mused.

She smiled. “There was One. But it wasn’t really One. It was missing a slight piece, so it was less than One.”

He look across again, wondering if she would continue.

“It spent it’s life being content to be less than One. Never quite being whole. But the world never noticed. And so One spent life looking whole on the outside but finding it’s self lacking on the inside.”

He was quiet. “That’s quite a sad story.” He finally said.

She looked up at him. “One gave up hope of ever finding the missing piece to make its self complete.”
“But fate and destiny are strange. When one gave up? The missing piece entered Ones life.”

“And does One feel whole now?” He smiled.

“Yes.”
“One is finally complete. No missing piece. One is now whole.”

“You are silly.” He smiled ☺

Random thoughts…

There are times

My thoughts get the better of me,

Times I think I should

Set you free,

But then we’d lose

Both me and you,

This love is worth it

The hard times to,

In loving you I’ve

Come to see,

There’s a well

Inside of me,

One that loves you

Endlessly,

My missing piece

Searched my whole life through,

I always felt empty

Until I found you…

~….The gift….~

Imagine your hopes and desires

take them and times them by ten,

Take all your dreams for the future

to the past and then present again,

Add sweet dash of magic

stir it with truest loves kiss,

A pinch of the softest caress

the moment of eternal bliss,

Pour it in a heart of glass

the fragility and hope of new,

And if you can imagine it all

then you’ll know how I feel about you….

.x.

~…. Storyteller ….~

The lies they slither

off your tongue,

And one by one I fall for them

completely come undone,

You weave your web fabricated

untrue,

And I fall I fall

such a fool for you….

See the magic….

Think of a wondrous wonderland

of colours red golden green,

So many sights to entice you

of things unspoken unseen,

Of pixies dancing

the night away,

The owls fly low

moon beams out to play,

And in the clearing

in the wood,

The wise old oak

so silent stood,

A lonesome stag

stands by his side,

A bond of trust

nature turns tide,

The oak so old

a testament to time,

His generations grow around him

wisdom passed down the line,

The stag walks to

the waters edge,

A solitary figure

upon the rocky ledge,

He takes a drink

as eyes dart around,

Ears pricked up

unfamiliar sound,

Campers laughing

thin smoke in the wood,

They’ve no idea at the magic

its misunderstood,

The campers settle down

it’s been a long day,

Night owl screeches loudly

passes on his way,

Over the trees

low over valley,

Into the town

atop post in dark alley,

The alley is lit

from street lights cast glow,

Hiding the undesired

the forgotten of life’s flow,

But within the forgotten

there’s magic to see,

And they know of natures beauty

of all it can be,

For the forgotten see

with untainted eye,

The magic of life

the rest of us pass by….

.x.

Thoughts….

Your my pleasure

Your my pain,

Spin me in circles

Your such a drain,

The more I lose

The more I gain,

Tell me what

Your gonna do,

I’m so wound up

So into you,

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