Tag Archive: Suicide


Write your own title…



    Well hi!  I’ve been bit quiet lately,so much going on and I’ve not been feeling the words. The kiddos first week back at school was interesting to say the least. They are fab and make me proud with the way they’ve gone straight back at it. The youngest is realising that idont mind her listening to music,it’s the gatcha life in lesson time I draw the line at. She’s been busted twice.
    A lot happened on Friday and although this isn’t going to be a long post, I don’t think it will be anyway, its Friday and what’s happened because of it I’m going to write about…
    Friday afternoon me and the 15 year old had a play tickle fight,loads of laughing and smiling and just fun. But I hurt myself (and yes I’ve found it hilariously funny). I’ve twisted or sprained my knee, well I’ve done something to it! By Saturday it was completely swollen and I couldn’t walk on it, que strapping it up to support it as I cussed and cursed around the kitchen, crawled up the stairs and almost cried crawling back down them, as I went off on one at the washing machine for washing clothes to quickly and the dryer for drying the clothes to quickly. Sunday, Monday, we’re now on Tuesday(20:38 UK time), and I’m still seriously struggling its still swollen, it still hurts, I’m still limping, still can’t completely bend or straighten it. But? Its still funny as fudge!
    Now… the more important bit and the reason I wanted to write and this is incredibly sad. On Friday a girl in my 15 year olds form class committed suicide. Needless to say everyone is still shocked. Sadness doesn’t begin to describe it. One of the popular girls who was kind, sweet, caring and beautiful. The school has offered counselling to all students and to all teachers. The teachers have talked to the pupils as each lesson begins both yesterday and today. I wrote previously that the years 2 of my children are in are exam years, there is so much pressure. And I mean an extreme amount of pressure. Covid has made it so much harder, lessons online is so much harder and our house is lucky that there are enough devices for all 3 youngest to be online doing class work. Everyone is feeling the isolation. For 15 and 17/18(Alevel)Yr olds across the UK? The pressure is immense. A support network is ringing every family to ask how their teenager is, after talking for a few moments I asked if she wanted to talk to the 15yr old who was doing her work near me. I have sat and spoken to my 15 year old a few times about what happened. Her brothers and sisters, us as a family, we stick together and we talk. It is a parents worse nightmare and my heart goes out to her mum.
     My last thought in writing this post is this…
          There are going to be days where you feel so alone. That no one understands,that no one is there for you. You will feel like no one cares and that you’re not worthy of love. There will be days where you can’t see anything other than the bleak greyness that appears to go on forever. There might be times when to not breathe? Seems the better option. When these days happen, when your thoughts are like this? I’m asking you to remember something important…

      You are a candle 🕯
If you went out?
Somebodies path would be in darkness.
You light their path in life
Probably without ever knowing
How bright and well lit
You make their life path.
You are important.
You are not just wanted.
You are needed.
And even if at times
You don’t feel it?
You are loved.x.


So as simple as it sounds?
Please don’t ever forget…
You are a candle 🕯

~ Ended…. ~

 

 

Falling apart I’m just

falling apart,

There’s nothing left to grow

there’s nothing to start,

Like a fluttery beat

of a nearly dead heart,

I’m so tired of this

like a broken down cart,

Let me drink that bottles bottom

and then will I start,

Release the demon from my wrists

tear me my skin apart….

 

.x.

 

 

~ .. …. ~

Sometimes I feel                            

if I could just bleed,                          

It would take away this hurt                        

this need,                                    

Life is a bunch                                      

of tiny thread,                                

And when they all break                        

you end up dead,                    

Choosing the way                                    

with so many mistakes,                              

I push and push                            

until it all breaks,                                        

Holding the knife                                

against my skin,                                

Then the pain slips out                      

and I’m better within,                                    

Lying on a towel                                

on the floor,                                    

I gaze at the window I                                            

see outside the door,                            

The pain makes me realize                                          

this is me I’m real,                                              

And gives the warm fuzzy feeling                                    

I long to feel,                                

This is a happiness                        

that I can keep,                                                  

At last I smile                                  

as I find peaceful sleep….

The title of this was originally called ~ To Late ~

.x.

Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind

"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"

Inner Monologue

For when you just need to let it all out. Blogging about mental health, writing poetry and stories. Please do get in touch if you wish. Email and Twitter down below.

Memoirs of a Muse

The little things I wonder about, experience and document

Lignes invisibiles

Invisible lines associating ideas, creating images.

An empty space....

Just another WordPress.com site

Beautiful Disaster: A manifestation of trauma

"You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing" The Tell-Tale Heart Edgar Allen Poe

Pieces Of K Blog

Everything created is another piece of me.

Notes from the U.K.

Exploring the spidery corners of a culture and the weird stuff that tourist brochures ignore.

The misterman's take

life, liberty, love, and laughter

Sulaiman Hafeez

Jack of all trades, striving for mastery in quite a few.

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

PT Master Guide

Your Complete Medical Guide.

cocinaitaly

comida italiana

Sir'sbutterfly blog

#submissive #beautifuldisaster #life #love #freedom #bdsm #Dom

JackCollier7

An Englishman, walking the Warrior's Path towards Ultimate Truth.

Charliecountryboy's Blog

My reflections of life in general.

Batman Crime Solver

"Non è tanto chi sono, quanto quello che faccio, che mi qualifica" ________________________________________________ "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." ("Batman Begins")

Babsje Heron

Great Blue Herons: A study in patience and grace

Rivers Renewed

Restoring and renewing our rivers through poetry and wordflow.

Indian first

Expressing what one feels

ambroseandelsie

Serial short stories about Ambrose Smith, vampire.

Scribbled Verse

Scribbles by Afzal Moolla

Celler-Adocse

Festes i fires de Catalunya, receptes de cuina i molt més

piecemealadventurer

Tales of the journeys of a piecemeal adventurer as a discontinuous narrative

a.mermaid'spen_

I rant and write ;)

Aphorism with Abhishek

The stuff that matters

A Pondering Mind

A little of this. A little of that.

Heart Breathings

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." William Wordsworth

All About Life

Ideas and musings from a middle-aged 20 something

Blessings by Me

Frugal Living Tips & DIY's From My House to Yours

kiwissoar

flights of fancy from New Zealand

Leigh's Wordsmithery

Where Words are Tempered, Not Tamed

lauravent69

Welcome to my crazy world. Life, music, animals and misadventures with my twisted humor leading the way!

LargeRoomNoLight

Confessions of a Creative Energy Addict

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

An Unexpected Muse

writing ... after parkinson's

stepsandpauses

Mostly Mindful

Nin Chronicles

Writers Are Parents

Ontheland

Caring About Our World Reflecting About Life

jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

MY WALL

Poems & Photographs

agoyvaerts

To observe, to be enchanted, and to enjoy the simple stuff in life, is truly a delight.