For I both desire and crave you in ways beyond mere words….
….only your passionate embrace can calm my storms….
.x.
Tag Archive: Soul
Wrap my arms
around your waist,
I just need more
of your sweet taste,
Kisses deep
on barest skin,
Flames desire
from within,
Need you now
more than before,
Against the wall
the bed the floor,
Take me sweet
soft and low,
Push me far
as I can go,
Lay back let me take
just what I need,
A hunger only you
can feed,
Touch me there
again like this,
Temperature rise
breath catch heartbeat miss,
Back arched lost
to the feeling of you,
Delirium shudder gasp
see what you do,
Nipples harden even more
as I run my fingers across your skin,
Mine to do as I pleasure
gosh you must be a sin,
Need you more
but we keep the pace,
Passions heighten
but we don’t race,
Skin burns at your touch
sparks and sets alight,
looking down at you
a deeply sexy sight,
Feelings build higher higher
our pace picks up harder than before,
Explosion shatters through me
can’t take no more,
The two of us together
spent content
I kiss you deeply
as we lay on the floor….
.x.
So I wasn’t really sure whether to write on here again? Is it a good idea? I don’t know…. So much has happened since November.
I’m fighting depression -and yeah I know I’ve said in posts on here that I don’t have depression- cuz to me to admit is to say I am weak, and weakness, is unacceptable. I stopped taking my tablets just before christmas. I didn’t like how they made me feel,think, how they numbed the edges of real, how they fuzzed the edges of squares and made them all freaky circles. I cared, I functioned normal but, I just wasn’t bothered, didn’t want to argue, didn’t have an opinion. I just was….
So new tablets and new doc to talk to ( I don’t like the “P” word or maybe it’s just the “IST” bit I don’t like? I don’t know.) This new docs ok, he has taken the time to read my file but most importantly is taking his time letting me talk and not asking about the fuck off huge Demon playing with fire glaring menacingly in the room. I think maybe that’s why I don’t like Mental health professionals. The ones I’ve been involved with through out my life want to get from 1 – 10 in a straight line as quickly as possible and don’t like the fact that I have a half million obstacles to go around, just to get from 1 – 2 most of which have been created with the sole purpose so that I don’t get hurt.
When I think of depression, I think of people with suicidal thoughts or tendencies. I think of people that would harm others, ie kill because they believe there is no better life on this Earth. I don’t think of the everyday depression, the one that affects millions of people. Maybe it’s time I did? People with depression are normal, they can act, function and appear as though nothing is wrong at all. I did/do. My noticeable depression was when I “crashed” just before Christmas about 8 days after stopping my tabs. Looking back I knew I was going to crash, the signs were all there, I just didn’t/never do, see them till after. When its to late….
So, if your still reading this, you may be this must of had a huge impact on my children? Strangely no. Like I said before, people can act perfectly normal with depression. I mean they grew up with my fear of being touched and that I flinch if someone puts their arms around me. They’ve helped me fight this with out even knowing. Just by being them, constantly throwing their arms around me and in how much I love them and how protective of them I feel. So hugs are now becoming a little easier and I can give some to others without feeling sick. As for hugging my kids? no probs there.
So what next for me and wordpress? To be honest I don’t know…. I have some poems that can still go on here. The poem Part 1 to this, is only the 5th poem I’ve written this year. I don’t want people that read my page to see it all writing and say something like…. Oh it’s to much writing on here now, I only follow for the poems. Then un follow. I don’t want to make it to “gray and gloomy” either as you don’t need to read and then feel grim. I’m going to think about this today, what I want from WP.
Well if you got all the way down here then firstly, I should check your awake and most importantly you haven’t died of boredom somewhere along the way? Hmmm? pulse checked. airways and breathing checked. Eyes open lookin at me strangely? Yup, you’re good to go! Thanks for reading my spilled thoughts, littered words, rambling letters, and sorry for the numerous grammatical errors (Yup there’s loads).
Take care all of you out there at the other end of the wire.
.x.
I love to lose my senses to you….
The smell of you….
the sight of you….
The touch of you….
the taste of you….
….Just totally lost in you….
.x.
No brave white knight to guide me
no light to shine the way,
Shadows closing in on me
and still I kneel and pray,
I pray that your the one
who can take me from this harm,
Save me from this pain and hurt
deliver me to calm,
I need your healing hands upon me
to help wash away my pain,
Your strength your arms around me
like sweet soft summer rain,
This turmoil deep inside of me
is begging for release,
The storm raging deep within my mind
radiates through my eyes with fury and unease,
I stand like I’m a predator
locked with in a cage,
I smile but I am given away
my eyes they blaze with rage,
My horrific cascading nightmare
cares for neither creed nor class,
He batters my defences
shatters my world like glass,
The wind howls and I’m left kneeling there
afraid and all alone,
I’m lost and just can’t find my way
I need your strength to help me find home….
.x.
Do you dream….?
.x.
Oh summer sunset sun
you light the sky on fire,
The red the orange like a flame
you awaken our desire,
The dusk it settles in
as you go down low,
The logs and pine cones in the fire pit
help create the ambience the glow,
The chatter and the laughter
the meal has been consumed,
Music playing in the background
and drinking is resumed,
Around the pool a man chases a woman
before throwing her in,
Laughing some of us strip to our underwear
others dive for a swim,
The more sane of us sit around the fire pit
we laugh and talk and smile,
A cute guy picks up his old guitar
and hums softly for awhile,
Enraptured we all sit quietly some drink some smoke relax
he’s been strumming in his own world and looks up with a start,
All these eyes intently watching
captured every mind and every heart,
He starts again plays a melody
that tugs at every soul,
We all listen as he plays so passionately
all of us connected all of us whole,
The sun it leaves the sky
the candles we do light,
The cute guy old guitar his heartfelt songs
to carry us further in to this night….
.x.
Come walk with me in silence
let us just hold hands,
We’ll walk down to the waters edge
draw our initials in wet sands,
Laughing as we watch
the summer sunset glow,
The air is getting cooler and the wind
begins to blow,
You put your arm around me
as we head back to the car,
Beside you it feels forever
but it isn’t very far,
I watch you as you change gears
the road your eyes upon,
I can’t help myself but smile
as I realize my heart to you belong….
.x.
An empty space.... 