Tag Archive: Mind


~ Two steps behind you…. ~

This poem is called a “Smile” you write, print, email, text or send it to someone to put in their pocket for when they need it most….

Where ever you go 

whatever you do,

remember I’m here

just two steps behind you,

So when you’re alone in the night

or your world looks so grey,

You’ve been crying again

or just can’t face the day,

I send you a smile

and a great big hug to,

Cuz where ever you go whatever you do

I’m always here just two steps behind you….

.x.

 

Taste the JD on your lips

and there’s vodka by your bed,

All these feelings and confusion

your messing with your head,

Can’t remember the right

don’t figure the wrong,

You aim for the short

but carry the long,

You want to be normal

you want to be real,

Between anti-depressants and drink

you forgot how to feel,

Pick yourself up

stand back on your feet,

Yet you put on a mask

for all the people you meet,

Time to face it don’t be ashamed

your strong have some pride,

Be proud your still standing where others did fall

sure you’ll have good and bad days but don’t hide….

 

.x.

 

~ Rave…. ~

 

Look in your eyes take a breath

feel the rain splash down,

Take your sorrows take your fear

make a smile from your frown,

Feel the rhythm feel the beat

let it echo in your soul,

Let the power of the music

fill your senses make you whole,

Ride the wave of feelings

emotion heartbeat rush,

All the ravers in this place as one

we feel the musics heat its crush,

Pulse of music swirls around

kaleidoscopic colours mixed with rain,

The ravers and the DJ

a united euphoric chain….

 

.x.

 

No brave white knight to guide me

no light to shine the way,

Shadows closing in on me

and still I kneel and pray,

I pray that your the one 

who can take me from this harm,

Save me from this pain and hurt

deliver me to calm,

I need your healing hands upon me

to help wash away my pain,

Your strength your arms around me

like sweet soft summer rain,

This turmoil deep inside of me

is begging for release,

The storm raging deep within my mind

radiates through my eyes with fury and unease,

I stand like I’m a predator 

locked with in a cage,

I smile but I am given away

my eyes they blaze with rage,

My horrific cascading nightmare

cares for neither creed nor class,

He batters my defences

 shatters my world like glass,

The wind howls and I’m left kneeling there

afraid and all alone,

I’m lost and just can’t find my way

I need your strength to help me find home….

 

.x.

So true….

Do you dream….?

.x.

~ To stay untitled. ~

~ She’s so confused~

I wanna tell you how I feel about you

how in my life I want you,

I get on a merry-go-round

get off at the exit dam it’s you so unfair but true,

I wanna hate you

cuz I’m scared of getting hurt,

But then I feel bad I feel like shit

I treated you like dirt,

I know how to annoy you push your buttons

it’s not you its everyone its me,

I need these 4 walls and your locked outside the door

just can’t let go of the pain in the past the let downs I need a little free,

Honestly I want your friendship conversations

but deep inside my fear says you can’t stay,

I’m afraid of losing you….

….You say you don’t forgive…. That never leaves my mind….

I want you….your friendship in my life

but every time you get close I’m going to push you away,

How much more you gonna take before

forever is where your gonna stay….?

.x.

…. …. …. ….

You need to sort yourself out girl, not every one is gonna hurt you, not every one is gonna let you down…. Your never gonna be happy unless you let go of the past a little…. You never should forgive them but if you forget just a little….maybe you wont be expecting the hurt all the time…. Your shy, serious and rational. But those that know you? Your funny, kind, caring, passionate, sensitive, and so deep no-one could ever find the bottom. You are loved so much, you just don’t realise….

.x.x.

~ .. …. ~

Sometimes I feel                            

if I could just bleed,                          

It would take away this hurt                        

this need,                                    

Life is a bunch                                      

of tiny thread,                                

And when they all break                        

you end up dead,                    

Choosing the way                                    

with so many mistakes,                              

I push and push                            

until it all breaks,                                        

Holding the knife                                

against my skin,                                

Then the pain slips out                      

and I’m better within,                                    

Lying on a towel                                

on the floor,                                    

I gaze at the window I                                            

see outside the door,                            

The pain makes me realize                                          

this is me I’m real,                                              

And gives the warm fuzzy feeling                                    

I long to feel,                                

This is a happiness                        

that I can keep,                                                  

At last I smile                                  

as I find peaceful sleep….

The title of this was originally called ~ To Late ~

.x.

~ 5 Minutes ~

Come with me to the big oak tree

we’ll sit under the sky,

The sun shines down through lazy breeze

as we watch the dragonfly,

The blades of grass

all shades of green,

Some ladybugs and

a cricket unseen,

On this hill as we lay

back relax and close our eyes to cloudless sky,

A gentle breeze through dappled shadows

makes the big tree sigh,

As I lay here next to you dear friend

I contemplate on why,

5 minutes out

from our busy lives,

Demanding partners

children wives,

5 minutes to listen

to the oak tree sigh,

5 minutes to look

at the cloudless sky….

The great thing about good friends is you don’t always need conversation…. Sometimes just being with them in the quietness….the stillness……..   Just take 5 minutes….

.x.

In which I go backwards to try going forwards again and catch those letters….Or maybe I just need a bigger net?

So, I haven’t been here in a while(writing I mean).  I’ve been here reading, reading all of your posts(yeah I know I’m rubbish when it comes to commenting) but still, I have been reading! Once upon a time writing was an amazing thing to do, something that was far beyond me. We all learn to write I hear you say, did those stories when we were 7,8 and 9? Well no I didn’t! I went to 5 schools as a kid and the only thing they all had in common was that if, you knew the basics they would help and teach you. If you didn’t,  you’d get coloring’s and stories to listen to. I didn’t. When I started secondary I could spell about 10 words, 3 being my 1st, 2nd and last names. I had to get to year 9 before things finally started making sense. Sad? No. It was life and as I came from a screwed up background it was the norm.

I used to look at at people who could write and feel so envious, how could they capture life and stick it on a piece of paper? How did they get the pen to flow? Would I ever be able to do what they did? The answer came when I moved schools. I was in yr 10 and had found myself at yet another secondary school, my previous school had said that I wasn’t very intelligent  and was very disruptive(true). To put me in the correct set for English the head of department asked me to write about myself, just a page. I’d done half a page when he had a look and saw how it was going and there, he saw the potential! It was there I could write!! I ended up in 2nd set being disruptive kept me out of 1st  😦

So school over and I can write. Life goes on I write in books, scraps of paper, napkins, receipts what ever I find, I write on the internet, I delete it all, life carries on…. I find word press I start tipping my mind out onto the keyboard  and come to now…. Where have the words gone? I can’t make a poem any more…. It appears that spark that thing I need to write has done a runner. If you see it please give it a good kick up the …. and send it on its way home, Thanks!!

Until it comes back, I’m gonna keep reading all your posts (and as usual not commenting).

I’m gonna carry on being with the people that make me happiest…. my children….

Well, if you managed to make it to end(this is it!) with out falling asleep, and no, matchsticks propping your eyes open don’t count (that just makes you look funny), I’m going to post a picture, it’s new and every time I see it I just have to smile….

That’s my baby girl, the youngest of 6. Dare you not to smile  🙂

Happy hugs all and smiles your way.x.

.x.

How come I didn’t see                                              

the hole in the floor,                                  

It’s dark dirty and dusty                                    

don’t wanna be here no more,                                  

Pick myself up                                        

stand on my feet,                                    

What nightmarish creatures                                          

am I doomed to meet,                                        

Ahead there is a                                   

corridor,                                          

Leading to a land                                    

of lore,                                                                        

Dare I go down it                                                      

what choice have I,                                                          

The land in front just full of knowledge                                          

my life behind me just a lie,                                                  

Stepping around each corner                              

what challenge will I find,                                                  

Some horrible murderous creature                                                  

with an equally vicious mind,                                  

The corridor’s end                                        

my sword stained red,                                              

All that I fought                                    

are laying there dead,                                        

And now before me                                      

a real battle lays,                                          

One that will shape my dreams                                            

my future my days….  

       

Sometimes the sentence “….Life’s a bitch….” Just ain’t good enough.

 

.x.

 

 

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