Tag Archive: inspiration


~ Make a memory…. ~

 

 

Come walk with me in silence

as we walk along the sand,

The sea far in the distance

like a shimmering distant land,

Show me your perspective

show me what you see,

Show me the rock pools crabs and secrets

and the things you know to be,

The soft wet sand skims endless

a ripple from a breeze,

Clearest blue of skies

the only shadow cast by far off trees,

Make me smile as only you can do

as I listen to you talk,

Make the perfect memory

as in silence we do walk….

 

.x.

 

~ …. For M. You always inspire me to write. Hugs you so much and care about you loads.x.x. …. ~

 

 

~ Know then…. ~

I hate you because 

I care about you….

I don’t like you and I never want to see you ever again

But those words I just wrote were a lie….

You have a part of my heart no one else can claim

Your name cut there so deep….

All these years have past and our lives drift and then re-collide

All these years have past and I care so deeply about you the same if not more….

I’m so very very afraid of  you

And that’s because I feel so much….

You have the power to hurt me and that’s a scary thing

But all I can do is sharpen the blade….

Sharpen the blade before I hand it to you

The first cut is always the deepest the most deadly….

So wrap your self around me and break me….

Kill me softly….

Kill me slow….

And as my tears fall and my walls topple and crumble

As like fragile glass I shatter….

Until all that’s left is me

a mixed up soul that’s still learning….

Know then 

As you hold the blade in your hand….

See then, feel then, know then

That my words are not just words, they are truths….

Know then, and know 

That I care….

.x.

A post to inspire….

I’ve been having one of those weeks, well a bit longer than a week, where nothing seems right. I’m happy (I think), I smile a lot but, the smile’s not hitting my eyes ( so I’m told ), how does a smile hit your eyes?  Hmmmm?  Whatever, I guess I’m just feeling a little down and moody and stressy <- is that a word? and grouchy. yeah that kinda describes me…. I was looking for something just to give me a kick and inspire me and, I found it in the following words….

This is by The Haunted Lullaby and is, for me, very inspirational. Hopefully it inspires you to….

—————————————————————————

I’ve:

–         been a victim of physical abuse
–         been a victim of mental and psychological abuse
–         been kicked out of my own home – twice in fact – and including on my 17th birthday
–         been betrayed by individuals whom I trusted and called family
–         been divorced
–         had a gun pulled on me twice
–         defeated an anger problem – admitting I have a disease and it is something I will have to live with and work to control the rest of my life
–         watched myself completely bottom out in late 2011 and early 2012 – watching everything I ever wanted go up in flames in a matter of six months
–         seriously considered committing suicide in the time frame mentioned above because I saw no out, no means to continue, and no reasons to continue. Not only did I feel like I had nothing but I felt like nothing.

And, each time I’ve fallen, I’ve picked myself up and pulled it together. Then I fall. Again. And, again. And, again. But each time I fall, I get back up. Somehow. Someway. It wasn’t God. It wasn’t Jesus. It wasn’t my family. It wasn’t my friends. It was me.

I’ve sat and suffered in silence. I’ve gone to bed with a knife under my pillow – worried that I would be killed during the middle of the night. I’ve cried. I’ve begged. I’ve bargained. I’ve pleaded. I’ve screamed. I’ve felt sorry for myself. I’ve blamed others. I’ve lashed out in anger. I’ve asked “why”.

There is no “why”. This is the life I have. These are the cards I’ve been dealt. It just “is”. I’m not being rewarded. I’m not being punished. I’ve had a lot of damage inflicted on me. I’ve inflicted a lot of damage on myself. I’ve likely inflicted damage on others.

Someone very close to me told me that bad things happen to me because “life knows I am strong enough to take it”. While very poignant and admirable, I can’t imagine it is true. We all go through trials and tribulations. How we choose to deal with them is what builds character. I’m not a quitter. I’m not a complainer. I don’t make excuses. I make mistakes but I learn and grow from them. I falter and I struggle, daily, and I will fail and I will fall. But, I will never stay down. I will get back up and I will do it for myself.

I have the right tools. I have the right mindset. I can build bridges even if they have been destroyed before. I can’t change the past but I can change the present and the future. Specifically, I can change my present and my future. It can be what I want it to be.

I can be a victim of whatever I want – abuse, society, unfairness, others. It is an easy route. But, I refuse. I am a victim of no one and nothing. Am I a survivor? Sure, but anyone living is a survivor. That’s not good enough and way too clichéd. I am more. I am a proponent – for hope, for dreams, for courage, for integrity, for honesty, for character, for rebuilding, for improvement, for forgiveness, and most importantly, for growth.

To you, the reader: Don’t wait for tomorrow. There may not be a tomorrow. Don’t rely on others. Use your own power to light your way.

Find the will. Find the courage. Find the strength. Find a way.

 

———————————————————————————————

 

 

I re posted the bit that inspires me most but, to read his full post here is the link….  http://thehauntedlullaby.com/2014/03/04/victim-of-nothing/

Hope the rest of your Tuesday is a happy one.x.

~ Sky…. ~

Above so pink
like first loves blush,
Bleed to gray purple blue
in such a rush,
And so with
the slowly setting sun,
You ever so slowly
come undone,
You give up your glory
across the view,
You never lie
but change your mind often tis true,
The wind pushes cloud
another storm on its way,
What surprises do you have
as night takes the day,
The ligt pollution gives off
an illuminated glow,
As I stand on the hill
and look at the city below,
The wind rushes hard attacks
trampoline Wendy house trees,
All are tucked up
small animals birds bees,
The pink all now gone
just the lilacs blues grays,
The wind howls of the bitter cold
like it has the past few days,
Not dark enough for stars yet
of that I can see,
Carry on sky weave your story
tell it to me….

.x.

A Broken Promise

I was Page hopping and oh wow…. if you haven’t been to qwertythoughts289  why not? Hit the link below and read “A Broken Promise”  To sum it up in 3 words? Enchantingly, Beautifully, Heartbreaking…. Go see  🙂 

A Broken Promise.

~ Untitled As Before…. ~

 

(Written on the 23/12/13)

This song played on random

on my playlist today,

The song started and I stopped

reminded of you with every word he does say,

Tonight’s playlist you wrote

that email I couldn’t delete,

Of all the songs you sent

that one my mind does repeat,

I scrapped your number

removed from my phone,

But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about you

more so when I’m alone,

When I can’t sleep at night

and the t.v. plays on and on,

It’s 2 3 4 in the morning

not texting ever feels just wrong,

History so much past

jumbled with so much now,

With you everything’s intertwined (could it ever not be?)

my heart screams reach out but my mind says get on with it but how,

Wes Scantlin’s voice sings on and

i think about those words he sings,

Thoughts flutter but are ripped away again

feelings float with you but its always to much so many things,

So many things I could write

but whats the point whats the use,

I’ve nothing to gain

but so much to lose,

I put this

away,

To finish later

today,

And you sent a 

text,

I did not 

expect,

Now I think

of you more,

It’s 10 times harder

than before….

 

.x.

 

Inspired by the song “Blurry” (Album version) By Puddle Of Mudd.

(Thanks for sending me this song. You know who you are.x.)

 

.x.

 

 

~ Havoc…. ~

 

 

I feel the need 

the need to run,

Cuz everything’s unraveling

coming undone,

Emotions slipping

fall into rewind,

Uncertainty hits fast forward

there’s havoc in my mind,

The back beat gets faster

the music loses control,

And I can’t stop the endless slipstream 

confusion’s on a roll,

The spindle spins wild

and screams all night long,

Reality jumps to a different track

working at shit o’clocks now its song,

The life song splits

starts anew,

Can’t differentiate 

false and true,

I see the ghost of a memory

crushed raw about you,

A new stem grows up from the rubble

weaving and weaving it finds a way through,

The sunlight pierces 

blackest night,

It blinds it blinds

a white so bright,

Change the track to a new song

hit me up drug my veins give it to me once more,

Let me free fall let me free fall till I crash burn

hit the floor….

 

.x.

 

 

Across the misty morning meadow

sure,

Dew drops form in 

bracken pure,

Wild grass dance

in autumn breeze,

The song of the ancients 

sung by the trees,

The spinning spiders web

silk strand,

The breeze push the fly

mother nature lend a hand,

Dragonfly graces

water light,

Heron catches fish

hold on tight,

Root from tree

breaks fresh ground,

A deer it calls

wondrous sound,

Light dances

off water clear,

Frog break water push lily pad 

near,

Dappled sunlight dances

unechoed and keen,

So much still unheard

so much never seen,

A flash in the forest

heartbreaking beauty like a dream,

So pure so spectacular

and always unseen….

 

.x.

 

 

image

~ You say…. ~

 

 

So I ask you again is this what you want

there’s so much blood on your hands,

And your making yes your making

so many many demands,

And your changing yes your changing

ripping layers off your skin,

So much life blood so bright red

your drowning you just sin,

You say your falling your just falling

you’ve forgotten right from wrong,

You say there’s no redemption

there ain’t no brand new song,

The road you travel

is so dark,

It’s barren

and it’s stark,

You once said your like reverse origami

peel back the layers and your there,

But you’ve peeled to much there’s nothing left

your empty warmth less bare,

You say you’ve got the fire of a demon

that your pulled apart inside with rage,

All the tears that have been shed because of you

your mind should be in a cage,

Your changing yes your changing

a mere shadow of yourself,

All the confusion and frustration

it’s fucking with your health,

You say your damaged torn and broken

you say there’s nothing left on the insides,

But hidden in the dark deep inside of you

a ….

 

.x.

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