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“….When you have someone on your mind and you feel sad….”
“….But then they send you a message….
You still feel sad but, so incredibly happy too….”
.x.
Tag Archive: Friends
Right now I crave your words I
crave your words so much,
Anyone else reading won’t understand but you
will see the simplicity behind the tapestry of words and such,
I closed fb and messenger and wordfued
I can’t read,
The only thing keeping me sane is the music
just a hi is all I need,
Why do I crave what is bad for me?
when will I learn?
Are you bad? No your not…. ever
and yet with this crave I burn,
I miss them I
miss your words more than I’ll say,
But I’ll live and I’ll forget in time
and things will go back to how you want….
.x.
Tonight’s playlist….
The album “Chaos And The Calm” By James Bay.
Cast shadow inside
ebony mind,
Blood drenched walls
at first you find,
Screams and echos
of pains gone by,
Someone reach out
you jump to the sky,
Black cloud so soft
like velvet tis true,
Engulfing enveloping
swallowing you,
Fall you fall
fall through the stars,
You slip you slip
through realities bars,
Forgotten forgotten
you cast out a net,
Does anyone care
your classed freak but yet,
Has anyone ever listened
does anyone know,
Your story so great
from not to long go,
Successful and healthy
fighting a war,
You served did your duty
the army’s law,
The horrors you saw
engraved in your skin,
A branding iron burned
you killed so you sin,
You helped you saved lives
but that’s not what you see,
You left with honors you came home
to be what you could be,
But the ghosts they came with you
they torture your soul,
They give you nightmares torment your mind
your a mere shadow of your whole,
The gunfire the marching
the running the tanks the hum,
The explosions the bodies the blood
the scene replays and comes undone,
Your eyes are open but you still see it
you remind yourself to breathe,
You get up move a little slower
but from the shadows you don’t leave,
You fell through the cracks till you had nothing
the concrete street an empty door,
I buy you a meal a few teas coffees we talk
always wish I could do more,
One day you said “Hey if your not busy come to group”
saw more of you than before,
The path you walk is perilous
you say you must walk it alone,
The things you say society
it just wouldn’t condone,
Group has helped you get a flat
you have a roof you have a home,
And so many are glad they know you
you need never feel your on your own,
The path you walk you know may take years
and little steps are the way to go,
You still remind yourself to breathe
but in time you say you know,
Life will one day get
a little brighter,
and the nightmares will get
a little lighter,
I was talking to someone else from your group earlier
and saw you burst out laughing the smile hitting your eyes so true,
So glad I had the courage that day to say hey wanna go get a drink?
but more so I am honored honored to have a friend like you….
.x.
When I was younger poems were something I loved to read but was no good at writing. I mean yeah I could string the words together and could write but not poems. Poems for me weren’t like story’s, you could lose yourself in a story but a poem? that could transport you to a mystical magical place…. Thats how it was for me. I tried poems, I wrote them to friends, in birthday cards and letters. Everyone I knew said they were great but I didn’t believe so.
I went round to a friends one day when I was 16 and a man was sat in a chair drinking a cup of tea. I didn’t know him didn’t recognise him but he was a friend of the family and my mate Lee’s parents weren’t back yet. It was Lee’s birthday and I gave him his card with another poem in it, Smiling he said to this man that I was good at poems. Handing him the card to read he disappeared and came back a few mins later with every poem, letter and silly story I had ever writ him, I was kinda shocked he kept them. The man sat reading them quietly for ages then said to me and this I will always remember….
“If you write with your heart, like you do here, your writing will always be the best you can give.”
He also said that the best writers are those that aren’t afraid to write about any topic, he was talking to me personally about poem writers but it applies to all.
I took what he said and remembered it. I try very hard to make sure that every poem I write has feeling, that hopefully, you the reader enjoys it. Good, bad, happy, sad, emotional, anger, despair, depression, love. Sometimes I have to look so deep into myself to find that feeling in order to show it in a poem. No topic is safe. I will write about anything and everything. Every poem I write is not necessarily how I’m feeling that day.
That man? the one who told me that? He’s an author and grew up with Lee’s dad in America. I didn’t realise till about 5 years later when I saw his picture on a dust jacket of the book I was buying. At the time, being 16, and the way I was it was more interesting breaking the law and ignoring adults than listening to what they had to say. Lee and his family went to Australia for a better life when I was 18. I spoke to him a few days ago and he told me he still has those letters and poems and stuff. I laughed and asked why he would keep them? His answer? “When you finally publish something, it’s gonna be great, and, I’m gonna blessed that not only did I know you first but I have my own private collection of the real you.” How cool is that? I was stunned into silence!
My next post will be number 200 on wordpress. I didn’t think I would carry this on but, I found I like not just the writing but more and more, I like the publishing! And it’s so incredibly cool that I get to read the work of so many very talented people! And look at the most amazing photos! You all should be proud! 🙂
So I don’t know what post number 200 is gonna be yet? Maybe I should pick my favorite posts of the other 199? Or maybe just another poem? We’ll see….
Happiest of hugs to you all, I hope the weekend is just fabtastic for you!
.x.
Hello everyone! How are you all? I hope life is treating you well and special people make you smile b 🙂
I haven’t written on here in a while, didn’t want to as I don’t want to fill this page with unhappiness but, its about time I wrote something!
For those of you who have been reading a while now, you will have already read about Taylor (My middle son). Well in good news his blood pressure is down to 121/73 which, is excellent! But bad news, the last set of tests they did, his kidney function is reading what they call abnormal and bad, like his usual kidney function is good? It’s a lot closer to the 40% now and that day is getting so much closer. Taylor is off to hospital next week for more tests. He’s happy he gets to stay off school. In order to give Taylor an “as normal as possible” childhood, we’ve never really told him just how serious his problems are. Some people might think this is wrong but why make life any harder for him? Doesn’t he have enough to cope with already? He knows he is different and has asked if he is normal? And that IS hard. My eldest (the 13yr old), knows whats wrong and being very close to me, picks my moods up before anyone else, he’s currently sticking to me as I plaster a huge grin on my face. He knows how much I worry about Taylor.
In some good news Taylor has a girlfriend friend that’s a girl, to young to put those words together! It’s nice to see them chat and giggle and laugh together, she constantly gives him the sweetest smiles. 🙂
Taylor is a fan of classical music ( I like so many different types, all the children get to listen to it all). I was thinking about taking him to the theatre to see something. Anyone got any ideas of whats good? I haven’t been in about 10 years.
Now Taylor is in year 6, I have to start thinking about secondary school. With his problems with interacting with others, I’m now unsure which High school to send him to. My eldest boy goes to a business and enterprise academy. My eldest girl goes to a specialist academy for performing arts. And there is a science and languages academy near my daughters school. Living 3 miles from Lincoln castle and in a city, there are another 8 schools that I could choose from. With my eldest 2 the choice was easy and they go to the right schools for them. Amazing isn’t it? As children we spend our life trying to get away from schools then as parents we want to know everything about them!!
I want to get back into education as well and am looking at open university courses but I’ll tell you more another time.
So in other news in our house? My youngest boy is now playing football for the school. My middle girl is now going to dance lessons. oldest boy now in under 14’s team for his football club. eldest girl gaining confidence and letting go of some of her shyness (yay!). Munchkin (3yrs) can now write her 1st name (Double yay!!), and tell you what each letter is and its sound (triple yay!! ). we’re still working on her surname, she finds W hard! I finally got my new sewing machine, a computerized one and my super old one ( from before I was born) is now gone. Oh and our demon tumble dryer is gone and our new dryer does not have an underwear fetish like the old one!!
So that’s it from our house, for now. I haven’t been writing, no scrap that, I haven’t been finishing any poems that I start so none to upload. Hopefully I’ll finish at least 1 poem soon!
Well if you made it to the end, well done you! Hello? Hellooooo? OI! you! Yes you! Wake up!
Happy hugs to ALL of you. Hey! Remember it’s Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you ALL have a happy huggable weekend full of special people and thoughts that make you smile. 🙂
Big smiles to you all, me.x.
.x.
So true….
This poem is called a “Smile” you write, print, email, text or send it to someone to put in their pocket for when they need it most….
Where ever you go
whatever you do,
remember I’m here
just two steps behind you,
So when you’re alone in the night
or your world looks so grey,
You’ve been crying again
or just can’t face the day,
I send you a smile
and a great big hug to,
Cuz where ever you go whatever you do
I’m always here just two steps behind you….
.x.
Taste the JD on your lips
and there’s vodka by your bed,
All these feelings and confusion
your messing with your head,
Can’t remember the right
don’t figure the wrong,
You aim for the short
but carry the long,
You want to be normal
you want to be real,
Between anti-depressants and drink
you forgot how to feel,
Pick yourself up
stand back on your feet,
Yet you put on a mask
for all the people you meet,
Time to face it don’t be ashamed
your strong have some pride,
Be proud your still standing where others did fall
sure you’ll have good and bad days but don’t hide….
.x.
Look in your eyes take a breath
feel the rain splash down,
Take your sorrows take your fear
make a smile from your frown,
Feel the rhythm feel the beat
let it echo in your soul,
Let the power of the music
fill your senses make you whole,
Ride the wave of feelings
emotion heartbeat rush,
All the ravers in this place as one
we feel the musics heat its crush,
Pulse of music swirls around
kaleidoscopic colours mixed with rain,
The ravers and the DJ
a united euphoric chain….
.x.
Happy Sunday everyone!! Hello and how are you all? I hope your all just fabtastic! 🙂
Hmmm? Fabtastic…. It’s not in the dictionary but so many of us use it…. I wonder how many words slang or otherwise you use? I use a fair few, in fact more than I realised. I got caught out with my grammar on here yesterday, in a poem I don’t even like!! So I was thinking about my grammar in general and have gone back over stuff I have published on WP. Oh dear…. Nope the grammar is not good! So okay “Grounded Dictionary Swallower” ( <- That needs an abbreviation), Yes my grammar is actually not as good as it could/should be. Point well made “G.D.S.” and I, have taken notice. 🙂
Urs SenseSilly Whoops! I mean Yours Sincerely
F.F.
Right! Idiocy gone mad done!
And if after reading this you should find a grammatical error? Well? Raspberries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May everyone reading this have the most happy hugable day, I hope it’s just fantabulas for you all.x.x.
.x.
