Category: Writing


Write it out…

Let it flow…

That’s right isn’t it? Let it flow… let it pour… let it go…

There are so many words trapped inside. So many emotions. So many feelings. Can I start at the beginning? I don’t even know where that is…

I’m numb. But no. I’m not. The atmosphere is emotionally charged. I feel it in my skin. The rumbles of a storm in every breath I take. …calm down, count to ten, keep breathing… I don’t want to calm. I don’t want calm. I want storms and ripped and wretched and bare…

And I smile… but the smile never hits my eyes. It doesn’t light me. It’s false. As false as the mask I wear. I’m another bad actor in some awful forgotten play.

…let the words out…

Find a song to open this damn and let the emotions into the words.

Song choice. Florence and the Machine. What the water gave me.

~…Strength…~

Old tree

blackened by time,

Shaped by the wind

as it passes down the line,

Gnarled branches

barren and bare,

Living and breathing

but barely there,

The rain it falls

darkest storm,

Rip the sky in two

tree stands forlorn,

Lightening hits the ground

scorched earth wet,

Tree stands alone

nothing happens and yet,

It’s just a tree

no beauty or grace,

So very alone

in this desolate place,

Wind howls louder

higher higher,

Lightening tears across the sky

brilliance of white fire,

Old tree braces

against the wind stands so still,

Steadfast and alone

strength and iron will…

The words they don’t make sense. There’s no power. No anguish. No desolation, turmoil, wretchedness. No depth. It’s all wrong and not enough. I’ve built these walls so high the emotion, the depth is struggling to get out. It’s drowning in an endless ocean of words. I can’t find the lever to release it all in this symphony of sounds. It’s to dark. So dark. I can’t swim.

…calm down, count to ten, keep breathing… I don’t want to calm. I don’t want calm. I want storms and ripped and wretched and bare…

I want feeling.

Depth…

….Daddy’s Thoughts….

She sat on the edge, legs dangling over the side looking lost in thought…

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m watching dreams.” She replied.

He walked closer and stood behind her. He looked into the water and saw nothing but the bottom. Trying to think how she did, he looked again and saw nothing but the ripples as the water lapped towards the shore a short distance behind them. Nothing but the current carrying the water along.

“Dreams.” He finally said.

She looked up at him with those big brown eyes he adored and gave an innocent smile.

“Uh huh…”

“Dreams of hope and wonder carried in those ripples.” She smiled once more and he felt that familiar tug deep inside of him.

He held her gaze… “And what do you see now little one?”

She looked deep into his eyes until he felt as though his soul was laid bare. While outwardly showing his cool calm self.

An almost imperceptible change came to her voice, but one he was accustomed to…

“When I look at you?” She breathed… “When I look in your eyes I see sunsets. I see hope. I see my dreams become reality. I see calm.” She cast her eyes down to her hands.

“Calm?” He said. She nodded. How could she see calm in his eyes when she caused an endless conflagration within him. When one look from those deep brown eyes with their dancing black flecks took the breath from him. When that soft smile set him alight. How could she see calm when she made him feel so alive.

She moved until she was on her knees before him. Looked up at him and, (so he felt), read his soul…

“I love you Daddy.” She said simply. Innocently.

And those simple words took his breath away. Made him lost and found at the same time…

He smiled and held out his hand for her to take. “I love you my kitten.

~….Crimson River….~

As blood runs down the staircase

echoed wisps of decay,

The night is eerily calm

not how it was that day,

Drip drop drip

the crimson gold,

Follow the trail

a story unfold,

Floorboards creak

from heating pipes,

That keep the blood warm

on these cold nights,

River of red

along corridor,

Slowly oozing

from under the door,

Ghosting through

the solid wall,

You expected to see?

not this at all,

Lips the tinge

of deaths kiss blue,

Eyes of glass

do not see you,

Such beauty in

her deathly grace,

A masterpiece amid

torn velvet and lace,

She lays like

A work of art,

Her hands they hold

her delicate heart,

Across the floor

the crimson gold,

So eloquent in death

yet horrors unfold,

The torn drapes

around her bed,

The broken vase and night light

smashed windows ahead,

A tornado happened

inside of this room,

Plundering it of light

leaving nothing but gloom,

Deaths softly kiss

such beauty and grace,

A crimson river

from splendour and lace,

A delicate heart

cut from her breast,

And in her fragile hands laid

in eternal rest…

.x.

…Dream time…

Laying in your bed, you in the middle, me one side and Dawn the other. I stretched my hand forward, it was early, so early. The room dark and dark outside. Breathing you in, I gently touched your skin, ran my fingers along it feeling the energy spark up my fingertips. I listened to your Breathing, fast asleep. Making slow circles with the tips of my fingers barely touching your right hip. Feeling the warmth radiate off you in waves… slow oh so slow my make the barest touch of circles downwards… down your thigh to the softest most sensitive of skin under your balls. Not even doing it to annoy You, just taking comfort in gently touching you. You grow hard, I feel your cock twitch, run my fingers along it’s ever growing harder shaft… it moves in my fingers direction. I listen and your breathing hasn’t changed. I don’t want to wake you while you’re so at peace. I get up from the bed quietly so as not to wake either of you. Use the bathroom. As I open the door your standing there…

You push me roughly against the wall, your hands holding my wrists against the wall and you kiss me, long and slow getting the reaction you want. You take my wrist and pin it so they’re both pinned under yours together. Your free hand travels my naked body as you lean further kissing downwards, softly biting my neck and kissing me further. Letting my wrists go you take hold of my breast and suck on my nipple flicking it with your tongue as it grows harder. I stifle a moan. Quiet you breathe, before going back to my hard nipple. Your fingers on the other hand at the front of my soft mound, you part my lips and push a finger inside me feeling just how wet I’ve grown, taking your finger back out you rub my clit before pushing 2 fingers deep inside me and start slowly fucking me with them. You feel it building within me and come away from my now elongated nipple. You kiss me. Smile. Slide your soaking wet fingers out from inside me just before I cum. I mewl in protest. You look me in the eyes as you taste your fingers. Then stick them in my mouth. And I suck them hard. It’s not nice making me horny and then leaving, you say. And you push my shoulders so I fall to my knees. Your cock swollen and hard and throbbing. I look up at you eyes wide in the early light. Well? You say…. I kiss the tip of your hot hard cock and it throbs in my hand jumping up. I look up and see you looking down. Taking your hard cock in my hand i kiss along the hard shaft before taking you into my mouth. You let out a held breath. I can sense it before I feel it… as I pull back before sucking you deep again, your hands come down and into my hair gripping me you thrust your hips forward. No teasing, no games, you want to cum. You fuck my warm wet mouth deeply pushing your hot hard cock deep with every thrust holding me tight you fuck my mouth harder, faster as I feel the shaft of your cock travel across my tongue and suck you hard on every thrust into the warmth of my mouth. I hear your breath catch and get ready, you pause, slow down and then thrust deeply into my mouth as your hot cum spurts into the back of my throat. I swallow all you have to give as you slowly thrust into my mouth a few more times completely emptying yourself into my waiting wet mouth. I suck and swallow you clean. You pull out and let go of my hair. You put out your hand and I take it as you pull me up. You push a hand between my legs and feel the wet that has spread down my thighs. No. You say. You don’t get release. Not this time, you say. Licking the sticky wet from your hand. Next time? You won’t tease and then leave. You say quietly with a laugh. Now… back to bed. You grin.

Yes… the above has atrocious grammar(on purpose), no speech marks, etc… again on purpose. The only purpose was to annoy Daddy at work. But I’m a good girl! I wouldn’t do that… would I…

…Sigh…

Sweet soft whispers

fairytale smile,

Take hold and game play

just for a while,

Hearts

you capture,

Minds

enrapture,

And all the while

its just a game,

Another heart

another name,

The epitome of

the doomsday book,

Look at all the hearts

you’ve took,

And everyone else

yeah their to blame,

For falling for

your sweetest game,
I was writing this to music and letting the music dictate the words but the style of music has changed and I’ve lost the thread as my thoughts change. Ugh…. Attention span of a hyperactive child dosed up on sugar….

Whirlwind on the way…

“What makes you write?” He said.

“What goes through your mind when those words come out?”

And I’ve been thinking about this all day. I didn’t answer then and I don’t know now… how do you explain a feeling? It’s not thoughts that go through my head. Its a feeling. An outpouring. An overwhelming need to get them out as they’re suffercating me from the inside. I’m too full and like a burst dam they’re spilling out into every emotion from everywhere. How do I explain that in a simple sentence?

So I’ve been quiet about it. Sat here tapping this out on my phone screen I’m still wondering. How do I get across the need to… to… to words?! Ugh… I’ve just let out a sigh, sat here with my music playing into my ears as the news plays on tv telling a story that i just cant hear. At the moment there are words circling inside of me and the music (which they usually dance to), isn’t making them dance. They are spinning, whirling, the start of a whirlwind. This dam is going to burst and emotions are going to flood. A torrent of poems and words and thoughts are going to flood down my veins and out from my fingers, and when they do? They won’t be stopped until they want to. Watch this space. A hurricane of words are on the way…

*Adult content*

“Kitten it shows your writing. What are you writing?”

*silence*

“Kitten. Are you behaving.”

(This not even a question).

*silence*

“Kit…”

(Hits send while I know he’s just writing my name. At which he deletes what he’s writing to read).

I dream of you…
My arms around you as you hold me close…
The warmth of your mouth against mine… against my neck as my hands travel downwards under your t-shirt… your hands undoing every button slowly on my shirt… the warmth of your skin under my fingers my body pressed so hard against yours I feel you growing hard as you kiss me harder, more feverently… pull your shirt off and kiss down you… drop to my knees and look up at you as I undo your belt, your watching me intently… undo the button and zip… slowly ease them down to a puddle at your feet. Your hard inside your panties… lick my lips as I look and then look up at you… seeing the need on your face, the want, the desire.
Slowly ease them down and your hard cock springs free… taking it in my hand, stroking my fingers along the warm hard shaft… leaning forward and licking the tip… running my tongue along your warm shaft. Kissing licking sucking… all the way down kissing and sucking the underside of your shaft to the base and running my tongue along your balls, feeling you tighten them. Sitting back a little and looking up with a smile at you… such need in your eyes… leaning forward and taking your cock in my warm wet mouth as I wrap my hand around the base and slowly take it in sucking and then back to the tip, rolling my tongue over the end before taking your cock deep into my mouth again. Your hand comes up and cups the side of my head as you thrust your hips forward and start to fuck my warm wet mouth….

“Kitten. Daddy’s at work. Should we be trying to wind Daddy up at work?”

(I send him a naughty picture).

“I love you Daddy💜”

And so my heart aches. It roars. It screams. And yet I remain silent while this hurricane rages inside me. The only sign you’ll see a slight tremble in my hand, slight crack in my voice. I will stand silent as you yo-yo hot and cold. As you Dominate and decimate and shut down. I’ll close off and switch to auto so you’ll not see me break. As you yo-yo hot and cold hiding your fire, I’ll hide my storm til the only give away will be the rain spattered glass of my eyes, and I look at the floor….

Love….

“Ok. Humor me.” He said. “Tell me.”

“A hurricane.” She said simply. “Imagine the a person as a hurricane, they have to stay on the edges and never get to close. They destroy or leave in disarray everything they touch.” She sighed…. “Such intensity, passion, an emotional whirlwind. Not many could cope with that.” 

“If it were real? It would be lonely.” He smiled.

“Yes….” She looked down.

“Now imagine that hurricanes a fire. When I finally showed him? He showed me that there’s an ocean inside of him that would calm my fire, deal with the emotions, the intensity, that would take my storms.”

He nodded, understanding but lost in thought.

“Tell me who wouldnt want to drown in the calming intensity of another?” She drew a circle on the table with her finger. “I told him that he was my darkness, the perfect pitch for me. Truth is? He’s my light.”


Let me fall….

Current song….

  So much on my mind I’ve hardly slept. 

I swear I’m clawing

at the walls of my own mind, 

And I’m crying and I’m failing

everywhere is you I find,

I’m shouting and I’m screaming

the wind whips the words away,

But I guess it doesn’t matter

you don’t hear what I say,

My heart and soul keep crying for you

so I play the music so loud,

But it just can’t go up high enough

to block their deafening sound,

 

There are times…. not many but yes times, where there are so many words, far to many words, and I fall into the abyss of them. I love words, I adore words. I love how you break them down and put them back together. How they can bring joy or heartache. How they can build you up or strip you bare. But there are so many words swirling in a never ending vortex and I just want to give up and not write. Let them just envelope me instead.

Current song….

“Don’t know what you’ve got.” By “Cinderella.” 

I give up today.

My every breath is stained  with your name….

(Just to make life worse? The song that has just started playing? “Til my last day.” Right now? I give up….)

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