Archive for October, 2015


My Sweet Cat….

….My endless thoughts….

Sometimes I feel so selfish
in the things I want from you,
I know some of these things are impossible
and others so hard to do,
The things I want are expensive
and yet none cost even a dime,
So I’ll start with the one that’s most precious
and that my sweet is your time,
I can’t help but miss you
whenever your not here,
And even though I understand I wish
that you were so very near,
I need your patience in me
for when I do things wrong,
And sometimes when the answer is very short I’ll
fuck up and make them long,
Understand my doubts
because when I look at you,
(I can’t help but see someone out of my league)
even though I enjoy the view ☺,
Know that I mean it
when I say that I care,
And i mean it even more when I
say I’m always there,
Forgive me for my emotions
sometimes they get the better of me,
But also know that you also control them
yes to a certain degree….

From here on out the words they don’t rhyme…. these are all just my feelings, written raw this time…. (yes I know, that bit rhymed).

But honestly, don’t doubt me…. What you see? It’s the real me. I try very hard not hide anything, and lay it out for you to see. Of course there are times, when I am told something confidentiality and as I’m known for my loyalty and trust, people say more than they usually would. It’s their secret not mine, so if online, these things I will delete. (I won’t betray anyone’s trust unless a life is in danger). I hope you will respect me more for that.
But I also won’t lie to you. As I crave honesty from you, so to will I give you my honesty in return….
When I tell you I love you, I don’t just say it for the sake of saying it, or just to make you happy or, to remind you of those words…. I say because I want you to know that there are simply no words adequate to say how much I feel for you, no words to express how much I care, (I worry when you use your phone and drive, so much).
  There are things I desire that I don’t say…. like how I wish you were here in the early hours when I awake, how I wish I could turn and see you breathing, the deep breaths of relaxed, restful slumber, in those hours 2,3,4am…. I long för being able to turn over in the morning and snake my arm around your waist, snuggling into the back of you….
But I also understand, I knew from the start. And from the start I never set out to fall in love with you, it just happened and if I could back? Then I guess I would only long to tick back years to find you qicker and love you longer, (to steal the words of the quote 😉).
Look I’m rambling…. but hey, my page, my thoughts, 1 rule…. total 1 hundred million percent honesty.
So to give it my honesty in as few words as possible….?

I am so in love…. With you….

I have Sweet Cat paw prints all across my heart and down my veins….

You are the sweetest most perfect sin….x.x.

Doubt Speaks….

You you think your amazing
and it’s really such a shame,
For in the pursuit of all you want
your losing all you gain,
I can’t help but wonder
how you feel,
Why play your games
just keep it real,
Don’t you know
your just some bitch,
The current scratcher
to scratch that itch,
You to him
you don’t mean shit,
And we all see
you can’t handle it,
Your just a pawn
in his big game,
And you’ll get pushed out
just the same,
And then tell me what
your gonna do,
How ya gonna handle it
when he says the words we’re through,
Are ya gonna cry
all night long,
Listen to every
dumb love song,
Listen up
and listen good,
You ain’t confused
just misunderstood,
Act like an adult
stand on ya feet,
Don’t be a walk over
get ya arse off ya seat,
You are strong
come show me ya proud,
I know you
ya don’t walk with the crowd,
So stick that smile
on ya face,
Do things your way
this ain’t no race,
Ya say ya love him
well have some fun,
But don’t forget
care for ya self first hun….

.x.

Written by Doubt, (who is feeling somewhat sarcastic), in her London accent, missing half the correct pronunciations and doing it only the way a Londoner can….
.x.

Thoughts of you
plague my mind,
And I ache in ways that are
physical I find,
Today has been real hard for me
and I know I’ve been in the wrong,
But sometimes I just get so stressed out
and find the distance so very long,
Today I’ve been left
to give so much thought,
And that tiny little cloud
and the doubt it has bought,
Can you ever see in me
just what I see in you,
I know what you say
but are those words really true,
See I love you and I trust you
mean these words I don’t lie
And….

.x.

Leaving this unfinished….

Little thought….

….There are times that I miss you so bad so much it hurts physically , like there’s this ache in me because somethings missing, like a limb or…. or the most important piece of my heart….

.x.

~ Touch…. ~

If I could hold you
in the night,
Caress you softly
with true loves light,
Run my fingers
over your skin,
Your the sweetest perfect
sexy sin,
Trace my fingers
across your jaw,
Makes me need you
even more,
Stop my fingers
at your mouth,
My thoughts all sliding
heading south,
Leaning closer
look in your eyes,
Damn they’re like
the darkest skies,
My lips trace lines down you neck
across your shoulder,
My thoughts more feverish
actions boulder,
Find your ink
upon your arm,
A simple touch
but me you charm,
Trace your inks
with my tongue,
I unravel
come undone,
My lips they kiss
across your chest,
Your heartbeat the sound
that I like best,
My fingers slow dance
their way down your side,
Feelings hit me harder
such a high tide,
Fingers slide down
to the curve of your hips,
Followed with the warmth
of my soft wet lips,
Fingers slide further
to grace your thigh,
So hot you give me
such a high,
Fingers travel up
your cock stands proud small gasp escapes my lips,
Trace the shaft you feel so hard
under my fingertips,
Feverishly following
the scent of you,
I lick my lips
as I enjoy the view,
Open my mouth
your sweet taste,
Taking you deeper
fully embraced,
All I want is
to have you mine,
This moment of pleasure
suspended in time….

.x.

For J.L. with love.x.x.

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Assume position….

Baby come closer
his words with a growl,
His eyes shining brightly
his thoughts on the prowl,
He looks at the floor
and I drop to my knees,
My only desire
is that I aim please,
What’s this? he says
hand slides up my thigh,
And I can’t help the gasp escape
a soft sounding sigh,
His hand he with drawers
fingers lift my chin,
Eyes deep into mine
probing my essence within,
He stands silent with such power
says on your knees follow me,
Tonight we will explore
your innabitions set free,
I want to see you unbridled
your passions raw,
Baby I want you on a level
you’ve not known before,
He stops and turns and waits watching
at the door,
As on hands and knees I comply
crawl across the floor,
Stand he says fingers the chain
around my neck,
Anticipation makes me
my emotions a wreck,
Mine he says
fingers slide down my skin,
The slow burn erupts
a conflagration within,
He pushes pins me hard
up against the wall,
He becomes my oxygen my breath
as I slide lose it all,
Down the hall to his room
know just what to do,
Assume position on knees eyes closed
wrists lifted ready for cuffs from you….

.x.

35….

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