Do you question things? Me, I question everything, everyone, myself. I would rather push people away before the chance happens that I could get hurt. It makes life easier (at least I think it does)…. There are times I just wish I could let go, not worry about the consequences. But I guess to do that you need to be comfortable within your own skin. As much as I don’t let much faze me, I’m still awkwardly uncomfortable within myself.  I can’t even look in the mirror without disliking what I see…. that constant reminder of the past that I fight so hard to block and forget, if I didn’t look so much like her would it be easier?
  My nightmare came last night, it’s the first time in weeks. So many years and always the same thing….haunting me. I stood in the bathroom washing my face in the early hours reminding myself that it’s just a dream. I haven’t had a glass of JD to help me sleep in the early hours for ages now, but all I wanted was a glass and to sit on the kitchen floor. Old habits I guess….?

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That’s me…. So “Hi!”

I don’t like photo’s. I’m trying to, but it’s hard. All I see is her, growing up in care from the age of 6, I didn’t even live with her for most of my life, but still she’s what I see. They say you can’t choose your family but I have….

So I guess this post is just my random thoughts spilling across the screen….
Currently listening to The Goo Goo Dolls “Sympathy” , I am definitely a huge fan of them….

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But when they have lyrics like these it’s easy to like the band….

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“Iris”
So now I’ve found pics for them…. the music has changed again and it’s…. Ray LaMontagne “Let It Be Me.”  Totally different but equally a great song.
  My aim for today is a simple one….
….No nightmares tonight….
Should be easy right?!

The song changes again…. Gabe Dixon “One thing.” Which I skipped. Skipping the next one to…. Natalie Taylor “Latch.” 

Chase Rice “Every Song I Sing.”

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Well my playlist is gonna play and I have things to do….

….Fingertips graze
          barest skin,
Heartbeat shudders
          heat builds within,
Hands
          grasp,
Mouths
          gasp….

Am i in the mood to write? Maybe later….

Wishing you all an amazingly chilled out but incredibly happy weekend.x.

.x.

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