Today it’s raining
but I love the rain as much as I love the snow,
Today just like the rain
my heart is raining far below,
Today I wanna hide from the world
don’t wanna face it today,
Today I feel a burden
that I’m just in everyone’s way,
Today my mask
is slipping from the inside,
Today I feel I have
nowhere to hide,
Today I realise I will never be good enough for anyone
not that it really matters,
Today I shred me myself ripping bits off
leaving myself in tatters,
Today I just want to sink
into the blissful grey,
Today I’m trying so hard to smile
but happiness doesn’t want to play,
Today I sharpen the blades
and hand them to people one by one,
Today all the foundations I’ve built
reveal themselves to be sand and come undone,
Today is
a mess,
Today there
is stress,
Today I wanna drown
in every song I play,
Today I hate me so very very much
but that’s okay,
Tomorrow….
Tomorrow the sun
could shine so bright,
Tomorrow I could burst
from feel goods light,
Tomorrow will be better
and I’ll know then,
Tomorrow I’ll smile
and start building again….

.x.

I guess that’s just one of those things about depression…. you think your doing great, but all it takes it one negative thought, one second where you judge or second guess yourself. Just one moment, one second…. and your slipping back into the gray….

.x.

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