Archive for April, 2015


This is for you….

Yes. This is for you….
  I have you on my mind now, in fact,  I’ve had you on my mind since I saw that song.
  Anyone on wordpress might read this but they don’t know me. They don’t know you (so your anonymous). *Sigh….* I guess I don’t even know if you’ll read this when it falls into your email inbox. Will you just delete? I don’t know. But see this is my page. My rules for it are simple. Write the truth. Every poem give it just a little of my heart, let my emotions flow. My page, my thoughts, my feelings, my whirlwind….
  Right now my thoughts are wandering down your path, (I’d like to know how they got into a different country since they definitely can’t swim). It’s not the first time I’ve written about you and I guess it won’t be the last….
  There’s this saying…. The biggest distance between two people is misunderstanding. That’s certainly true of me and you, we’re both guilty of it, we’ve both done it. (Like today….Sorry….).
  You have a type of loyalty from me that most won’t get. You’ve been there through some really hard times with your calm words keeping me going. There is a post on here saved to private for only me to read, where I wrote about just that. I worked it out, R-J wasn’t quite yet 2 when we first started talking. She’s 10 in June. Long time….
  As I write this the music that’s playing is not just  bleeding into my ears, but bleeding into my emotions, making me think to many different things and making it harder to write. As always…. it’s don’t say to much. But write enough. How can I write enough when I can’t write to much? Well I guess it’s not supposed to be easy.
  Here’s what I know. We could speak in the next half hour or at quarter to eleven tonight. We could speak tomorrow or even in 3 days time…. We might not speak for the next week, month, year. It doesn’t matter. We drift and collide…. (have you noticed?). Anyway…. It doesn’t change facts. In me you will always have a friend and I care about you. So stay safe, take care and above all…. What you wrote today…. let it out to someone….Please.x.

PS :- You can’t use those words “I give up
.x.

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Tonight I can’t write….

I try I’ve tried
but the words won’t flow,
There is so much emotion
within me,
The walls of this dam are paper thin
but they’re holding so I can’t flow free,
It’s like I need a catalyst something someone to tip the balance let me go,
That correct thing that will break me
and allow the overflow,
But what who or where’d I find it?
that I just don’t know,
I slide on
another song,
This night
it will be long,
I need a new scar
on my heart,
I’m unarmed  for all to see
line up your shot please rip through me….

.x.

Last night I dreamt of snow
and I was lost in it alone,
I hadn’t a clue where I was just I
was so very far from home,
I walked on for mile
upon mile,
As in the bitter cold the
flakes came thicker faster all the while,
I came to a small clearing in a wood
where I screamed in frustration and fell to my knees,
The wind it howled
and shook all the trees,
So peaceful in its way
branches heavy with snow,
I forgot I was lost and just watched
the show,
Flakes thick and heavy
so delicately fall,
They dance in the wind
and so enticingly call,
My body now freezing
but I had forgotten the cold,
Just watching the snowflakes
their story unfold,
And as I watched
shapes I did see,
They came from the woods
to watch just like me,
The feeling of cold
now gone from my bones,
The snowflakes on my skin
all finding new homes,
My skin it had turned
a porcelain white,
My last breath escaped
freed into the night,
My eyes they glassed over
this story dies with me,
Now I am now nothing but a snowflake
this is where I dance free….

.x.

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.
“….When you have someone on your mind and you feel sad….”

“….But then they send you a message….
You still feel sad but, so incredibly happy too….”

.x.

Miss your words….

Right now I crave your words I
crave your words so much,
Anyone else reading won’t understand but you
will see the simplicity behind the tapestry of words and such,
I closed fb and messenger and wordfued
I can’t read,
The only thing keeping me sane is the music
just a hi is all I need,
Why do I crave what is bad for me?
when will I learn?
Are you bad? No your not…. ever
and yet with this crave I burn,
I miss them I
miss your words more than I’ll say,
But I’ll live and I’ll forget in time
and things will go back to how you want….

.x.


Tonight’s playlist….
The album “Chaos And The Calm” By James Bay.

Her Rain

What can I say? I think this is amazingly beautiful….

.x.

RW Howell

147 - Copy2

In the season of the storm my ballasts have come undone

moorings once secured to a stable berth

anchorages now destroyed

the unseen beauty hidden in the tragedy of a storm

release of chains, breaking of shackles

the beauty of destruction is in the release

of the moorings holding us down

I am another wayward traveler drifting

floating on currents of Time

wandering aimlessly in and out of storms

across empty oceans searching

oceans of empty knowledge at my stern

just another lost child

an afterthought in Yahweh’s mind

so many storms eclipsing the sun

angry disturbances spawning indictments against an only son

foundations of this fragile vessel constructed from planks of weakened memes

breaking apart when challenged

when an angry wind howls my shame

and lightning damages my sky

hail pummels, scarring flesh

breaking bones

punishment for things I’ve done

foundation of self disintegrating under pressure of storms bearing…

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“….My dearest friend, there are times I would sell my soul just to give you a moments happiness….”

.x.

You….

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I wanted to post one more before bed, but sometimes it’s hard to say the things that are on my mind. As usual I would rather be quiet.
So here is a post for you….
For you are reading this right now and I just really want to say…. “hey I think your great 🙂 ”
Hugs and smiles from me 🙂

.x.

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