So I was talking to your aunt today and she said you were doing some course at a police station, I laughed and said I’d have to disown any knowledge of you if you ever decided to become a copper. She laughed and said you’d never let me because you care. I said you couldn’t care less…. It was then I remembered our last proper texts and how they ended. And the next day me explaining and telling you my dirty secret…. The reason I am scarred…. tainted…. dirty…. fine you said, I won’t ask again. And I hate to say it but those words have played on my mind. Because even though I asked you to Forget, now your perception of me will has changed. And I’m afraid because a wall will build and I will push you as far away as I can. I don’t want to (and you know how I feel so you know I won’t want this ), but it’s a self defense so I can’t get hurt. It just happens. Part of me says forget that that morning happened and just carry on like before. But I’m not like that with things like this. And I’m afraid to text you and say anything for fear of what you’ll say (or not say) (I don’t know which is worse). So I guess I won’t text you and just see if you text or maybe I’ll just text hi. Or maybe cause I’m female and we naturally over think things and fret way to much, I’m pulling this apart to much and should just chill out (probably). Either way, nothing changes, I care and you know….
Hugs and Take Care.x.

.x.

Advertisements