How did you do it I

heard her say,

What were you thinking

on that desperate day,

And I thought and I thought

and I thought some more,

The release as I watched

the blood on the floor,

Drop drip drops

the blood hits the ground,

And my heart beating loud in my ears

the only sound,

Blood life blood the strangest red

and I watched mesmerized,

As all around me

my life capsized,

The banging fading

as down the tiles I did slide,

Screaming so surreal

as calmness washed like a tide,

She’s unconscious a mans voice said

as I embraced the pure black,

Sometimes voices floated

but in the calmness I lost track,

“…..” there it is again

a man’s calling my name,

I wanna stay in the black

not face the world play its game,

The waitress with coffee breaks my thought

My friend looking at me with a smile,

Thinking about how far I’ve come

and the times I thought it not worth while,

Does it matter? I say

as I give a soft sigh,

You’ve got so much that’s good

so I can’t help but wonder why?,

Nothing was good

way back then,

I needed to hit that self destruct button learn to accept me for me

learn to smile and breathe again….

.x.

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