Archive for October, 2013

~ Sometimes with space it works…. ~

I wanna call you

but I can’t find the phone,

I wanna tell you I still need you

changed my mind don’t want us to go it alone,

Your side of the bed is cold

i miss your warmth your touch,

I miss the way you look at me

and tell me you love me so much,

Then I think of all the arguments

and how we couldn’t go on,

I saw it in your eyes that crushing weight

as with words on you I unleashed 10 ton,

Your eyes they filled with tears

your beautiful deep eyes your handsome face,

And my emotions started spinning because I love you

but the fights the rows we need space,

You packed your stuff but kept your key

when you closed the apartment door in the hall I fell,

I sobbed all those tears

you stood the other side of the door and heard them as well,

The next day at the office I

looked a right mess,

When giving the presentation

i couldn’t have said less,

My boss didn’t look

with to much surprise,

I saw the knowledge

reflected in his eyes,

But then I know

he already knew,

Because he’s such good friends

with you,

Now I’m sitting here feeling so lost

at home,

I wanna call you but we need space 

but I love want need you don’t wanna be alone,

I wanna text you

but I can’t reach the phone,

I wanna call you

but we need space all I said I can’t touch the phone,

The key goes in the lock

the tears slide down my face,

And then your standing there looking so hot in the way you do

leaning against the door your favorite place,

You haven’t shaved dark circles under your eyes

your clothes look all scruff,

But all I see is your handsome face your amazingly deep eyes

here in your dirty shirt with your smell I must look so ruff,

You hold out your hand I take it 

wrapping our arms around each other,

Your the only one I want I need I love

your my friend half of my whole my partner my lover,

These days have been so hard

that have past,

But we’re stronger we’ll work it

we’re together we’ll last,

I love you….



~ I wanna hate you…. ~



( Obsession…. )


Walking round I’m

going crazy,

And life it gets

just kinda hazy,

I try I try I try

and yet I find,

I just can’t push you out

get you off my mind,

Stamp my feet

shout till my throats sore,

And yet these feelings are still here

just like before,

The smell your smell

it invades my mind,

Till I smell it

everywhere I find,

It intoxicates me

consumes me whole,

Messes with my heart

body and soul,

And your voice your voice

i hear it everywhere,

Till I’m screaming screaming

i just don’t care,

I’m addicted to you

your some weird drug,

It makes me ill

like I caught some strange bug,

I try I try I try

don’t like feeling this about you,

And yet it don’t matter the distance or the off putting stuff I know

these feelings are still here driving me crazy it’s true,

I wanna say I hate you 

but I don’t,

I wanna say I’ll never talk to you again

but I won’t,

I delete your number

then throw my phone,

Why can’t years miles time

these feelings leave me alone,

I wanna hate you 

and yet I find,

I’m always drawn to you

your there at the back of my mind….






~ Ended…. ~



Falling apart I’m just

falling apart,

There’s nothing left to grow

there’s nothing to start,

Like a fluttery beat

of a nearly dead heart,

I’m so tired of this

like a broken down cart,

Let me drink that bottles bottom

and then will I start,

Release the demon from my wrists

tear me my skin apart….





I got bored and started doodling while listening to the radio, this is what I ended up writing from the nameless songs I was listening to….


~ To stay untitled…. ~


You know I wonder what your thinking

and if you think of me,

I wonder if your still fighting

or of your demons are you free,

Looking in your eyes

the other day,

What was left

what was there to say,

I saw the hurt

i’m not blind,

But it needed to be said

i never wanted to be unkind,

You keep on playing

this silly game,

And I can’t compete

it’s….   your not the same,

I need you yeah

but can’t do this no more,

And until you wise up

between us there’s this door,

It doesn’t mean I don’t care

it don’t mean I’m not here,

It means that cuz of your screwing around I’m

just afraid to get near,

So staying away I’m gonna be

we talked I hope it works,

I love you your original

your personality and your quirks,

But that doesn’t matter

cuz it’s like I said before,

Unless you wise up and change

between us there’ll always be this door….







Foot steps sound unearthly

as they echo on steps of stone,

Like a hundred thousand feet before them

they go past the hall with the throne,

Lichen on stone walls

all worn smooth by time,

The clunk of chain mail the clink of armour

the eerie sounds of a past life line,

The cries the shouts

long live the king,

The sound of metal crash in battle

the unseen horrors the sound does bring,

Ghosted candle knocked over

the rush of the flames they roar,

The screams the cries of the trapped

the pounding as others they rush for the door,

Sickly smell of burned skin

charred marks on stone,

Up in flames went the throne room

the king he lost his home,

The battle he did win

and building his kingdom he did again,

For historians to tell his stories

of a great king and his men….







My observation

my perception,

So sugar coated

like confection,

Seeing another

side of you,

I don’t want to believe

and yet it’s true,

Your not different

your just the same,

And I’m not playing

your little game….





~ Masking the pain… ~



Just give me just give me

my happy stick,

Can’t live without it I 

just feel sick,

Light it up fill my lungs

let me chill,

Swallow me a couple

of them happy pill,

But their not enough

to curb the edge,

I need more something stronger to stay walking

on the ledge,

A spoon give me a spoon

need my liquid gold,

Fill the needle fill the needle

i need that “don’t care” to take hold,

Feel it rushing

through my veins,

Masking the pain washing it away

like torrential rains,

Lay back just breathe ride the high

now hidden is the pain the sorrow,

Tell myself I’m not addicted

but I’ll need my hit on the morrow….







I feel the need 

the need to run,

Cuz everything’s unraveling

coming undone,

Emotions slipping

fall into rewind,

Uncertainty hits fast forward

there’s havoc in my mind,

The back beat gets faster

the music loses control,

And I can’t stop the endless slipstream 

confusion’s on a roll,

The spindle spins wild

and screams all night long,

Reality jumps to a different track

working at shit o’clocks now its song,

The life song splits

starts anew,

Can’t differentiate 

false and true,

I see the ghost of a memory

crushed raw about you,

A new stem grows up from the rubble

weaving and weaving it finds a way through,

The sunlight pierces 

blackest night,

It blinds it blinds

a white so bright,

Change the track to a new song

hit me up drug my veins give it to me once more,

Let me free fall let me free fall till I crash burn

hit the floor….





Across the misty morning meadow


Dew drops form in 

bracken pure,

Wild grass dance

in autumn breeze,

The song of the ancients 

sung by the trees,

The spinning spiders web

silk strand,

The breeze push the fly

mother nature lend a hand,

Dragonfly graces

water light,

Heron catches fish

hold on tight,

Root from tree

breaks fresh ground,

A deer it calls

wondrous sound,

Light dances

off water clear,

Frog break water push lily pad 


Dappled sunlight dances

unechoed and keen,

So much still unheard

so much never seen,

A flash in the forest

heartbreaking beauty like a dream,

So pure so spectacular

and always unseen….







why and what will you do about it

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