Archive for September, 2012


Hi….

Hello everyone! How are you all? I hope life is treating you well and special people make you smile  b         🙂

I haven’t written on here in a while, didn’t want to as I don’t want to fill this page with unhappiness but, its about time I wrote something!

For those of you who have been reading a while now, you will have already read about Taylor (My middle son). Well in good news his blood pressure is down to 121/73 which, is excellent! But bad news, the last set of tests they did, his kidney function is reading what they call abnormal and bad, like his usual kidney function is good? It’s a lot closer to the 40% now and that day is getting so much closer. Taylor is off to hospital next week for more tests. He’s happy he gets to stay off school.  In order to give Taylor an “as normal as possible” childhood, we’ve never really told him just how serious his problems are. Some people might think this is wrong but why make life any harder for him? Doesn’t he have enough to cope with already? He knows he is different and has asked if he is normal? And that IS hard. My eldest (the 13yr old), knows whats wrong and being very close to me, picks my moods up before anyone else, he’s currently sticking to me as I plaster a huge grin on my face. He knows how much I worry about Taylor.

In some good news Taylor has a girlfriend friend that’s a girl, to young to put those words together! It’s nice to see them chat and giggle and laugh together, she constantly gives him the sweetest smiles.  🙂

Taylor is a fan of classical music ( I like so many different types, all the children get to listen to it all). I was thinking about taking him to the theatre to see something. Anyone got any ideas of whats good? I haven’t been in about 10 years.

Now Taylor is in year 6, I have to start thinking about secondary school. With his problems with interacting with others, I’m now unsure which High school to send him to. My eldest boy goes to a business and enterprise academy. My eldest girl goes to a specialist academy for performing arts. And there is a science and languages academy near my daughters school.  Living 3 miles from Lincoln castle and in a city, there are another 8 schools that I could choose from. With my eldest 2 the choice was easy and they go to the right schools for them. Amazing isn’t it? As children we spend our life trying to get away from schools then as parents we want to know everything about them!!

I want to get back into education as well and am looking at open university courses but I’ll tell you more another time.

So in other news in our house? My youngest boy is now playing football for the school. My middle girl is now going to dance lessons. oldest boy now in under 14’s team for his football club. eldest girl gaining confidence and letting go of some of her shyness (yay!). Munchkin (3yrs) can now write her 1st name (Double yay!!), and tell you what each letter is and its sound (triple yay!! ). we’re still working on her surname, she finds W hard! I finally got my new sewing machine, a computerized one and my super old one ( from before I was born) is now gone. Oh and our demon tumble dryer is gone and our new dryer does not have an underwear fetish like the old one!!

So that’s it from our house, for now. I haven’t been writing, no scrap that, I haven’t been finishing any poems that I start so none to upload. Hopefully I’ll finish at least 1 poem soon!

Well if you made it to the end, well done you! Hello? Hellooooo? OI! you! Yes you! Wake up!

Happy hugs to ALL of you. Hey! Remember it’s Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you ALL have a happy huggable weekend full of special people and thoughts that make you smile.  🙂

Big smiles to you all, me.x.

.x.

….

So true….

~ Two steps behind you…. ~

This poem is called a “Smile” you write, print, email, text or send it to someone to put in their pocket for when they need it most….

Where ever you go 

whatever you do,

remember I’m here

just two steps behind you,

So when you’re alone in the night

or your world looks so grey,

You’ve been crying again

or just can’t face the day,

I send you a smile

and a great big hug to,

Cuz where ever you go whatever you do

I’m always here just two steps behind you….

.x.

 

Taste the JD on your lips

and there’s vodka by your bed,

All these feelings and confusion

your messing with your head,

Can’t remember the right

don’t figure the wrong,

You aim for the short

but carry the long,

You want to be normal

you want to be real,

Between anti-depressants and drink

you forgot how to feel,

Pick yourself up

stand back on your feet,

Yet you put on a mask

for all the people you meet,

Time to face it don’t be ashamed

your strong have some pride,

Be proud your still standing where others did fall

sure you’ll have good and bad days but don’t hide….

 

.x.

 

~ Rave…. ~

 

Look in your eyes take a breath

feel the rain splash down,

Take your sorrows take your fear

make a smile from your frown,

Feel the rhythm feel the beat

let it echo in your soul,

Let the power of the music

fill your senses make you whole,

Ride the wave of feelings

emotion heartbeat rush,

All the ravers in this place as one

we feel the musics heat its crush,

Pulse of music swirls around

kaleidoscopic colours mixed with rain,

The ravers and the DJ

a united euphoric chain….

 

.x.

 

Hello everyone! How are you all? I hope your all fantastic!!

I can’t believe the week is nearly over with already. My eldest girl started secondary school yesterday and she loved it! Typical me I cried and was thinking about her all day. My eldest boy is now in year 9 (and suddenly thinks he knows it all). And the other 3 aged 10yrs, 9yrs and 7yrs all started their new classes. Between yesterday and today I have been given enough letters and forms to fill a book! But, everyone is happy so its good.  🙂

I took Taylor to the doctor this week and his blood pressure has improved a little but, so the doctors say, not enough and still far to high for a child.  😦  I was hoping they were gonna say that before was a one off…. But no. One of the nurses asked if we had read anything about kidney problems in general and if we had read about transplants? She understood we weren’t at that stage yet (thankfully) but, it’s good to read about it so it gives us some idea. I asked her if she had ever been in a dialysis unit and she said no. I have and I would rather forget. Sick children hooked up to machines haunts you.

On a smiley note…. Taylor had a girl come up to him today and say she thought he was cute and could they sit together?

🙂

I can’t wait it’s nearly Friday and I’m only waiting for Friday as we are off to London early Saturday morning. YAY! Makes me feel like I’m 5!

Sunday is my eldest daughters birthday (12!) and in height she is catching me up I’m 5ft 5 and a half she is about 5ft 2 and my eldest boy is 5ft 4. I think my children are gonna be bigger than me! My eldest girl wants a diving course for her birthday, she absolutely adores swimming and is so confidant, so that’s what we are getting her, a diving course at stella scuba in Lincoln. It sounds fun but the other half is going with her, I think I would worry to much. She’s designed her cake, I just have to make it and as she is a budding chef and has a range of cooking utensils, odds and ends and a complete dinner set, she also has been wanting the magic bullet chopper thing so we got her that to and some clothes. This weekend is going to be Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope ALL of you at the other end of the wire are having a fantastic Thursday or Friday dependent on which side of the puddle your on. Happiest of hugs and extra hugs on top of that, Me.x.

.x.

 

As I look across 

the pale grey skies,

My heart screams NO

i close my eyes,

The dream I’ve dreamed

of so many nights,

Hauntingly soft

full of terrifying frights,

The rider on

his ghostly steed,

Chasing with a 

terrifying speed,

As I crash through the trees

i run I will,

For if they catch me

they will surely kill….

.x.

 

~ Sands Of Time…. ~

 

My love for you 

is like the sands of time,

As each grain falls

my love grows stronger

and

stronger….

.x.

 

Feeling your strong heartbeat

as you hold me close in your arms,

As we’ve talked the tears have welled

but your knowing voice it calms,

A song it plays in the background

its words I just don’t hear,

I know from the music it’s that song you like

and that though releases my tear,

You look at me probing

in your eyes the questions you ask,

Catching the tear

your thumb expertly at its task,

Outside the clock on the church

is chiming,

I have to go

even though it’s bad timing,

Get my coat head for the door

you implore but I say no,

You want me to stay

but I can’t I have to go,

Walk the short hall down the lift across the foyer out the door

this is hard these tears don’t lie,

I look up and your watching out the window

neither wants but we must our goodbye….

.x.

 

Inspired by to little sleep, by Fire after Dark by Sadie Matthews and To be loved by Train….

 

.x.

image

I luv that saying….
.x.

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