~ Anger, confusion, hurt…. The list goes on…. ~

Forget?

can’t forget the pain the hurt the alone,

Always on the outside looking in

I’m on my own,

Can’t forget the look on their faces

like I owe them a favour,

Cuz yeah they pulled me from the gutter

their my saviour….

I don’t think so….

Pushed from pillar to post in the care system

they say they know what’s best for you,

They got your life on paper oh yeah they know it all don’t they

and everything on paper is true,

Like fuck they know it all….

The look in his eyes as he touched you

the smile on his face,

Your mother she hates you

smacking you all over the place,

Your taken away

you lay on a bed in a room,

it’s cold surgical metallic

and frightening gloom,

The years they pass

clinical social workers counsellors psychiatrists,

Therapists psychologists

how many more ists,

You learn how to fake it

make it all good and real,

Fantastic mask upon the world

never show them how you feel,

Gang raped and beaten and then there’s the drugs

your teachers ask why you mutter,

Your lower than low

no place for you in the gutter,

Smile sweetly at your teacher

say you’ve got work to do,

You know you can do this

your strong you’ll pull through,

Life goes on….

Drugs robberies shop lifting

your lower than low,

doped up off your face again

and yet your still on the go,

At a party your best mate dies

a batch of bad e’s,

Your life it explodes come to your senses

your mind finally frees,

You get a job work your arse off

kick most drugs rise above,

And then most amazing

you fall in love,

He says “me or drink and drugs”

and so you choose him,

But it still all ain’t plain sailing

the ice is still to thin,

Years go past you have a family

but you ain’t dealt with your past,

How d’ you keep on going

will it forever last?

Time to be honest with me….?

Deep inside

there is a room,

It’s sitting

in the gloom,

That frightened 6yr old

alone,

Never gonna belong

in that room on her own,

Every time she’s reached out

she’s been hurt,

Every time she’s believed

she’s been treated like dirt,

Heart been so broken

that now its like ice,

The real her so low

much lower than lice,

So afraid of getting hurt

no one can ever stay,

Abused all of my trust so I will

push you away….

.x.

….Help is always there and people always care…. I glimpse you sometimes, the real you shining from with in….. Don’t ever feel afraid alone. You are not a sin….

.x.x.

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