In which I go backwards to try going forwards again and catch those letters….Or maybe I just need a bigger net?
So, I haven’t been here in a while(writing I mean). I’ve been here reading, reading all of your posts(yeah I know I’m rubbish when it comes to commenting) but still, I have been reading! Once upon a time writing was an amazing thing to do, something that was far beyond me. We all learn to write I hear you say, did those stories when we were 7,8 and 9? Well no I didn’t! I went to 5 schools as a kid and the only thing they all had in common was that if, you knew the basics they would help and teach you. If you didn’t, you’d get coloring’s and stories to listen to. I didn’t. When I started secondary I could spell about 10 words, 3 being my 1st, 2nd and last names. I had to get to year 9 before things finally started making sense. Sad? No. It was life and as I came from a screwed up background it was the norm.
I used to look at at people who could write and feel so envious, how could they capture life and stick it on a piece of paper? How did they get the pen to flow? Would I ever be able to do what they did? The answer came when I moved schools. I was in yr 10 and had found myself at yet another secondary school, my previous school had said that I wasn’t very intelligent and was very disruptive(true). To put me in the correct set for English the head of department asked me to write about myself, just a page. I’d done half a page when he had a look and saw how it was going and there, he saw the potential! It was there I could write!! I ended up in 2nd set being disruptive kept me out of 1st 😦
So school over and I can write. Life goes on I write in books, scraps of paper, napkins, receipts what ever I find, I write on the internet, I delete it all, life carries on…. I find word press I start tipping my mind out onto the keyboard and come to now…. Where have the words gone? I can’t make a poem any more…. It appears that spark that thing I need to write has done a runner. If you see it please give it a good kick up the …. and send it on its way home, Thanks!!
Until it comes back, I’m gonna keep reading all your posts (and as usual not commenting).
I’m gonna carry on being with the people that make me happiest…. my children….
Well, if you managed to make it to end(this is it!) with out falling asleep, and no, matchsticks propping your eyes open don’t count (that just makes you look funny), I’m going to post a picture, it’s new and every time I see it I just have to smile….
That’s my baby girl, the youngest of 6. Dare you not to smile 🙂
Happy hugs all and smiles your way.x.
.x.
It’s not just a question of how to find the words, but how can words find you, and when they do, will you capture them in that fragile moment. You’ll have the make a note, wright some words down to make you remember the exact tone, the subtile fragrance of those exact words.
What a smile upon her face.
grz. Mark
I didn’t bore you to sleep? Cool!! 🙂
No seriously, Thank you for reading and yes I know I need to capture those moments when they happen my way, it’s kinda hard because I usually have my hands full doing other things(knew I should have learnt to juggle!!). I have a feeling those words are out of reach to me at the moment, as my life is just like a washing machine on super spin right now. When it finally stops spinning, maybe those words will come back? Maybe?
That smile is the first thing I see every morning, I always get the best ones too!!
Happy hugs your way.x.
To stop living and write…..! is that balance or to juggle as you would say mrs nem….! sometimes the moment has to be lived for to stop and try to put words to it would be to relegate it to memory before it’s time is done, but the truth be known when we are experiencing those moments that we or others like us have felt, experienced, remembered and miss at some point we are able to express…. when your child wakes and the first thing you know is the singing in the distance and the glow in your own heart as you think, sometimes just sometimes things are right with the world in all its wrongness and words do not truly depict the glow in the eyes supporting the smile of a friend, loved one or child not for thanks but purely for being… and as hard to accept as it is sometimes just sometimes that is because of wee have a good day Mrs Nem ;o
Thanks Mr R. .
Always believing in me, always saying whats good, always being there reading my words….
You’ve been reading my words for a long time now….!
Hugs your way and take care.x.
You’re little girl is so adorable 🙂
Yes she is but! 20 mins ago I was calling her a little monster, (its very hard to stay mad). She painted my hallway with toothpaste. On the plus side, it does smell wonderfully minty fresh!!!!
Hugs your way.x.
Creativity is something that ebbs and flows. The past 10 months or so have been very active for me, but I have gone stretches of nearly a year without writing anything. It’s during those times that I found it almost ridiculous to call myself a writer, but I did anyway. Always will be, in my heart at least.
One thing I did, was never stop reading. Reading is as big a part of writing as actually writing, and to take some time and just read, well…you are writing.
I just want you to know that I appreciate it so much every time you click “like” on one of my posts. I know that many folks are reading me, as I check the wordpress stats…but for some reason I get a lot less likes and comments on my blog. There are moments when I also question what I am doing and why, but I have decided to try to talk myself out of those moments of self doubt and keep rolling forward. I can’t but help think that it is all going to work out.
Glad you’re here.
To name just a few that I have loved so far (and proof that I’m reading them!!)….
“It seems simple enough” There are a few people I would like to leave with nothing but ashes.
“There is no filter for this poison” I can’t put into words how I feel about this….I love it.
“I may have gone blind” The first 6 lines…. You got me, I fell in head first….
“I wrote my first book in 3rd grade” Yup I was/am envious….3rd grade!!
“Screaming over the din of our engines” Lines 6,7,8,and 9. I feel at line 6 and when I had finally finished reading I realized I was holding my breath. Those last 2 lines, I’m sure their etched on me somewhere….
The last one is most likely my favorite.
So some proof that I love your work! Keep posting as I love reading!
Hugs your way.x.x.
NEMESIS!
Thank you so much for your thoughts, it’s been hard to pull out some comments, and even harder to know what people are thinking. Even a single scrap is fuel for the fire.
Writing is an isolating process, and then you hand it off to people who hopefully enjoy it — also an isolated process. When you can actually talk about it, that’s the stuff.
And on that note, it’s the isolation that kills a lot of writers, by bottle, gun, or whatever is in reaching distance.
I appreciate your comments more than words can express.
I like writing, cause somehow you get more info across and things makes alot more sense when its readable. I’m a person who would love to have penpals because like I said writing is a special technique. It is sure a pity if you cannot write nevermind reading. I have myopia and it sucks I have to rely on my hearing whenever somebody far away from me calls me. Kinda feeling like a blind man. Your story is sad but yet inspiring. Keep on doing what you do best, to me that is writing, share your thought, there are people who wants to hear/know it.
fyi you have an adorable little girl and I couldnt help but smile.