I miss you
my thoughts turn to you and I miss you,
Hauntingly beautiful thoughts
memories so true,
Your eyes every time I blink
that nano second I close my eyes,
I drown in that sea
of depth defying brown a part of me dies,
I delete your texts on purpose
so I can’t hear your sexy voice,
But I can still recall it
why can’t I forget you why can’t I have that choice,
how can it intoxicated my soul,
How can it wrap it’s self around my very being
how can it consume me whole,
And all this time i ask why you
time does not change it all these years do show,
That time will tell and time has told
the effect you have on me is beyond my control,
You why always you
these feelings shatter me at the back it’s always you,
I break my own heart trying to fight this
that’s when my walls cracking and my confusion shows true,
Your simple text today….
and I’m back to square one….
You have my heart….
And every time you break it,
I break it to….
Because I am the fool who gave it to you….
Don’t give up, keep going, your stronger than you realise….
The last post I actually wrote on here was on the 4th. That thought occurred to me today….
I’m not interested in writing at the moment, I’m not really interested in anything. It’s like my get up and go, got up and went. There’s this ticking clock inside me but it’s stuck…. just ticking the same second over and over and over again. And because it’s stuck, so am I, and I see the gray. No, no, I feel the gray. I feel it’s swirls and tendrils, I feel it’s icy caress. But at the moment I don’t mind. When’s the gray gonna realise I’m not to bothered about the cold? Even though I know the gray means I’m gonna slip, I don’t care. Well I said that wrong to I guess…. it’s not I don’t care. It’s that I feel nothing. Nothing at all. Why is nothing provoking a reaction inside me? Usually there are so many different emotions running through me during the day, enough to make a “normal” person dizzy. But since I wrote that last poem…. Nothing. Not comfortable nor uncomfortable nothing…. just nothing. No feelings about anything. It’s not I’m not bothered, it’s not a numbness, a tinge a smudging of the corners…. It’s just a nothingness….